International Coalition for British Reparations logo
International Coalition for British Reparations: People of the World, it's Time to get Paid.

Scandalous British Debauchery Infuriates Europe


Scandalous British Debauchery Infuriates Europe

Weeks after inebriated British teens were deemed too rowdy for rescue by the British Coast Guard, new reports of irresponsible British partying have surfaced. Malia, a resort town in Crete, has suffered the notorious wrath of the uncontrollable Brits. They come on packaged tours that offer cheap alcohol with no other motive than to drink themselves to the point of violent sickness. Pointing out that it's, "only the British," Malia's mayor, Konstantinos Lagoudakis, had this to say, "They scream, they sing, they take their clothes off, they cross-dress, they vomit."

It's not just Greece encountering the unruly Brits. The Republic of Cyprus and Spain are also tired of the British lack of decency. We've said it time and time again, Britain needs to institute prohibition or have it forced down their throats by the European Union. Enough with the alcohol already, Britain. We get it. You love drinking. You love it so much that you'll drink your beer warm. But where's the line? We wouldn't be surprised if you bottled your drunken vomit for the sole fact that there might be some alcohol in there. Just quit. You're making asses, or arses, if you will, of yourselves. A word of warning to all the countries in the world: lock your liquor cabinet and hide the keys if you're having the British over.

Back to News