Letter To The ICBR: Lies, Lies, Lies
Dear S. A Grasse,
I am writing to you concerning your little website so thoughtfully entitled "The International Coalition for British Reparations".
To be entirely frank, the ICBR is nothing more than a propaganda tool manufactured and manipulated by the American Government, and/or possibly other people, in order to incite Anti-Britishness against its former coloniser. Unfortunately, your "clever" comments and sarcasm provide no entertainment to those born of a higher intellect than yourself, and other infinitely stupid readers who have decided that it's better to "support an idiot" than support "someone and/or a nation who actually knows what it is talking about". For many years now, Britain has been at the forefront of pioneering technology, mainly in the period of the British Empire at its greatest.
That is not to say that we ever invented prison camps, which were actually invented by the Spanish, nor did we ever introduce wage slavery (for further information, read up on the Roman Empire, and how they treated their plebeians) as well as countless other civilizations and countries who have done precisely the same, and whilst we have invented the machine gun, I feel it extremely necessary to bring to your limited intellectual attention that the British never forced the use of the machine gun upon anyone. The British never went up to an individual or a country and said "You HAVE to use the Machine Gun."Every country who has adopted and/or used/uses the machine gun in modern times, does so because they chose to out of free will.
Main arguments behind this fact lie in the obvious fact that the machine gun is efficient, unlike a pistol, the machine gun can fire many bullets at once, and therefore most countries automatically choose that as their weapon of choice as it kills/injures a lot more people, faster. The reason I feel I need to explain this is because of your obvious lack of brains, although that may be down to your blatant naivety and ignorance, not to mention your biased views.
The British Empire is highly regarded by many nations of the world today as being progressive, in that it brought a form of peace and justice to the unstable regimes that would have grown up if the British Empire had not colonized 1/3rd of the world. Under the guidance of the British Empire, the colonies we controlled were peaceful, prosperous and pleasant. The citizens within India, for example, mainly wish that the British Empire had never left. And of course, you simply ignore basic historical fact in favour of your own, flawed, biased, ignorant views.
The only reason the British Empire was dissolved, and unstable regimes were allowed to grow, was because of a little thing called the "Land-Lease Agreement", in which America essentially dictated to Britain to stop "imperialism". Therefore, it is clear to see that the blame lies squarely with the United States of America for firstly stopping the British Empire, which in turn left the colonies uncivilized and rogue, due to the fact that all British administrators left within the period of decline shortly after the Land-Lease agreement and therefore allowed the installation of dictators, despots and the like to take over the colonies and form a dictatorship.
Also, despite the obvious facts to the contrary, you seem intent on claiming that Global Warming was started by the Industrial Revolution, which may be true, but you then go on to state that it is entirely down to the British for spreading the Industrial Revolution around the world, "blackening the skies" as it were, and so implying that the British are responsible for Global Warming. This is strictly not true, as whilst we did have the Industrial Revolution, we are not responsible for Global Warming. Currently, the biggest CO2 (Carbon Dioxide, for your limited brain) is � surprise, surprise, the United States of America.
Moving on from that, you cannot claim that the British "are the worst criminals" in history, seeing as judging by recent, un-biased news, the main perpetrator of "pillaging countries, depriving them of their natural resources, etc." in this case, oil, is the United States of America. In a survey of the world's population, it is estimated that approximately 60% or more would state that the United States of America is the most hated country in the world, responsible for crimes too numerous to list.
However, it is strange that on your list of 'The Facts', you claim that the British should pay for � the VERSAILLES REPARATIONS? Well, clearly once again, as proven numerous times before, your limited intellectual capacity has shrunk even more, and your brain does not comprehend the logical and historical inaccuracy you make.
Firstly, Britain was not the only country in the Great War to claim reparations off of Germany. France and the United States of America also did so and it is through the United States of America's "utopia" view of the world shortly after World War I, that led to World War 2. Secondly, the United States of America, after pressing for an extremely less-harsh sentence to be passed on Germany, promptly went into isolation for 2 years, in which they did nothing but mill around, whilst the British were the last remaining bastion in Europe and if Britain had fallen, so would the rest of the world.
There are numerous other points I could make to back up my statements (and numerous other statements I could include) but I choose not to purely because I feel that you have suffered enough, and hopefully seen the error of your ways.
However, I would like you to note that you will edit this as you want to, and make me appear foolish and stupid. That is nothing more than pure arrogant bias on your part, and will only serve to highlight how historically inaccurate you and your statements and opinions presented as "facts" truly are.
As a parting note, I merely wish to remind you that Her Majesty's Most Loyal Opposition, Her Majesty�s Government, the Commonwealth of Nations, and of course, the United Kingdom will not be impressed by your views and take very little notice of them. As does the rest of the world. I strongly advise you to discontinue your fake little website, posting false news and a false book, as well as offering people money to take part in a petition. Only someone truly desperate would offer people money as an incentive to petition for the ICBR, and which, in any case, little of the "� 31 trillion" will be distributed amongst the people you claim "really need it", and it will instead go into your pockets and coffers.
I trust that other people will not be taken in by this charlatan and a fool of a man, as well as this scum of an organization.
Signed,
Matthew Heath
ICBR's Response to Letter:
Hey Matt!
Got your letter; you're pathetic! Your woeful attempts to disprove the truths revealed in The Evil Empire are nothing short of fallacious. We will, contrary to your claim, post your full letter in all of its unadulterated glory. You make the same arguments that every other pissed off Brit makes when they write to the ICBR with their panties all a ruffle. It's amazing how many of your countrymen regurgitate the same erroneous bullshit and send it to us in a vain and misguided effort to "correct" known truths. We believe that this historical hogwash must be passed off in your schools as a form of government propaganda. We won't even take the time to set you right historical point by historical point, but would like to suggest you read any history book not published in Britain; you will find things are not as your less than adequate brain believes.
The ICBR would like to devote a small amount of time to addressing one particular, non-historical fallacy in your letter. We actually have a lot of support from citizens the world over and are not the only organization seeking reparations from your country. You might discover this if you crawled out from under your rock and opened your eyes to the world around you. The next time you feel it necessary to fritter away our precious time, please make at least a small effort to say something of some intelligence. Quite frankly, Mathew Heath, you come off as a complete retard.
Cheerio!
The ICBR
YES, I WOULD LIKE TO SIGN THE PETITION AND GET PAID!
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