Letter To The ICBR: RE: How Stupid You Guys Really Are!!
Dear Idiots and despicable creatures/members of the International Coalition for British Repriations - I must thank you. I have not laughed so greatly at such a pathetic thing in all my days. Allow me - please - to dispel your
useless claims with a considerably shorter piece than your idiot of leader Grasse could prove with a novel - yes I say novel because its a work of
fiction.
Claim 1: Britain created global warming with the Industrial Revolution: Truth: Yes, the began the Industrial Revolution by inventing such things as
the train, car, engine etc. The world then caught on a made a few additions
of their own. Yet, would you rather we still lived in the Stone Age with a
life expectancy of 40? or do you like the fact that Britain brought the
world forward. Global warming exists because people have utilised Britain's work, yet Britain had the best of intentions and it is not their fault the citizens of the world have taken the engine and made planes and use them regularly - NO! That is the work of the entire world.
Claim 2: Bad Inventions - Britain created the slum, concentration camp,
slavery, child labour, grenades etc.
Truth: This is personally my favourite part. No, Britain did not create the concentration camp (Spanish); slavery has existed since the dawn of time; the Chinese invented guns, gunpowder and grenades; child labour has occurred
also since the beginning of time. You have fruitlessly attempted to pin all these on Britain, nievely believing you would get away with it. I, and every other person who are outraged at what you are attempted, have proved you wrong. You forget Britain gave the computer, TV, car, aeroplane (by Richard Pearse, New Zealander of British origin), engine etc! They have also
produced sterling people who are fought for the betterment of the world:Wilberforce (who is the greatest humanitarian of all time), Wellington,
Nelson, Churchill etc. They also are actually leading the world in the prevention of global warming - unlike the Americans - with British subjects having invented nuclear power and nuclear power stations.
Claim 3 and 4 together: Genocide and Global Misrule
Truth: It is a prejudiced, biased opinion that when an empire goes about its business, it means to suck the life out of those it conquerors. Yet while Britain may have created an empire and used the land to its economic advantage, it didn't exploit the natives as greatly as you claim nor "ruin their heritage and culture." They acted according to the values of the world
at the time, and the world has changed greatly since then. It is hence unfair for us to look back and say "their greedy, exploiting bastards" when
> we cannot comprehend the way of life then. Britain has also resulted in a change in the way we live. They were the first to abolish slavery, and those repercussions found their way around the world, and most certainly the British Empire. They didn't get prostitutes, savage natives, but those who worked for them were paid. You also claim today's issues are because of Britain giving up its empire. I tell you you have overlooked America. Before WW2, the Empire was strong; Britain at its head and the monarchy a figurehead if you like - a united Empire seeking better for the world. Of course there were elements of unease and racism, like there is everywhere else in the world, but not significantly so. As I say, the world was different then, and we cannot begin to understand the reasoning for their actions. Yet, WW2 comes along and Britain is, because of its geographical position, weakened. It looks to America for financial support - the Lend-Lease Act. America gives it aid, yet states BRITAIN MUST SET A TIMELINE TO END IMPERIALISM. Yah!! This all sounds so great. Hitler's overthrown and Britain gives it's empire "freedom". George VI is no longer the Head of State. This is where America's to blame. Without an overseer (Britain, the monarchy, what you will), these nations collapse under domestic pressures. They had it great economically before the empire was dismantled - not any more. Britain was gone. Yes, they became members of the Commonwealth, but without the Empire Britain was unable to directly assist and influence them so the nation could prosper. Therefore, because of these pressures, I give you today's issues, and the fact America created them. America couldn't leave the Empire alone. They believe in the US they are free, when they are not. The Empire and Commonwealth were and are free. The members of the Empire were free. The monarch was only their Head of State - they were
self-governed and the Empire prospered because of it. Americans believe they are democratic, yet they ruined the best thing the world has ever had - the British Empire. As they say, Britain brought the world forward. Our modern world exists
because of it - our issues do not. We are not in a position to judge a time when the world was so very different, but should revel in the fact that Britain has made the world what it is. It has given us freedom, democracy, modern law and an advanced world. Just because individuals chose to exploit their inventions is not Britain's fault. Throughout its existence Britain has strived to help the world and keep it free - Napoleonic Wars, World Wars, Iraq War etc. They are also a people of great honour, competence,intergrity and morality. That is much more than can be said for Americans just trying to make a buck, or anybody else for that matter. Also, for those idiots who have signed the petition: do you wish to bankrupt the world? Not that you will, because your entire campaign is rubbish and nothing more. You stupid American Grasse, trying to make a buck, being immoral and promoting your worthless book. I have proved your argument is flawed, so perhaps look
in the mirror at how America, with the SUVs and the Lend-Lease Act have selfishlessly destroyed the world and created our issues. America destroyed a friend to humanity, the British Empire, and the continue to destroy our planet. Mind! I don't mean to say Britain has committed no ills. Every nation has, but Britain no more so than anybody else and has indeed done far more good than bad. Without writing a work of fiction, Mr. Grasse and his stupid companions, I have shown have racist, biased, prejudiced, pathetic and incompetent your argument is. I laugh at you, and revel in the fact Her Majesty and the British Government and people will not give the ICBR a cent. Actually, they might. Out of the genorosity of their hearts, a generosity that has shown through the ages, they might just put you and your foolish companions through counselling.
ICBR Response to Letter:
Dear Brendan,
Thank you for you thoughtful and informative letter. What is it like living in New Zealand? Are most people as stupid as you? Just kidding; I’ve been there and everyone is not stupid like you! I’m surprised you weren’t left at the city gates as a baby but hey, we all get our breaks. Anywho, please find some brief responses to your somewhat lengthy diatribe below.
As for your first claim, we all face moments in our life where we are forced between good and bad, right or wrong. If you had bothered to read The Evil Empire you would understand (or perhaps you wouldn’t comprehend) that the ICBR doesn’t have a problem with the Industrial Revolution; clearly this was a necessary step in man’s coming of age. However, the same ends could have been achieved by an infinite number of means. Have I lost you? Research and development existed at the beginning of the Nineteenth Century, there were cleaner fuel alternatives, other labor options besides children and other possible business models besides the sweatshop. Why did the British decide to revolutionize industry via the least desirable means? Greed you dumb Kiwi! Greed!
Who invented what is always a matter of debate; collective conscious is truly a strange thing. However, it is undeniable that the British Empire propagated the evil devices you mentioned all over the world. Particularly with slavery, the Brits established a slave trade of proportion and efficiency never seen before again purely for profit. Many of the largest British financial institutions still feed off profits from the Atlantic slave trade; several English politicians have recently addressed this issue.
Make no mistake about it (oops you already did), any empire in history has sucked the life out of the people it subjugates; that is the nature of the empire. Your claim that Britain was some sort of blessing for the places they invaded is absolute hogwash. All of their territories, colonies, and lands existed purely for the profit of businesses and people back home. It seems you have been brainwashed by the pro-British propaganda that lives on in places of former British rule; oh wait the Queen is still your Head of State.
Thanks a lot for taking the time to write us. We hope this cleared up your qualms with the four ways England ruined the world that you mentioned. You should really check out The Evil Empire: 101 Ways that England Ruined the World for a further 97 reasons though. If you are going to take the time to write us back, please make sure that you actually have something meaningful and truthful to say. If not we suggest you go check out the Maori independence sight at http://aotearoa.wellington.net.nz ; they don’t really feel the same way you do about British rule in New Zealand.
Sincerely,
The ICBR
YES, I WOULD LIKE TO SIGN THE PETITION AND GET PAID!
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